I hired an actor to pose as my boyfriend after my ex announced he was bringing the younger woman he left me for to our son’s pool party. He laughed the moment he saw us together—but seconds later, one small gift box turned his smile into pure panic in front of everyone.
The house felt too quiet that morning.
It reminded me how empty twenty years of memories could sound.
I ran my fingers along the kitchen counter where Jordan used to leave his coffee mug.
Four children.
One marriage.
One life I thought I understood.
How empty twenty years of memories could sound.
I picked up the framed photo on the shelf.
I stared at the version of me who still trusted her husband.
“Mom, are you crying again?”
My oldest daughter stood in the doorway, hair pulled back, eyes soft with worry.
“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just remembering.”
“You always say that.”
“Mom, are you crying again?”
I set the photo down.
I forced a smile that felt heavier than it should have.
“Because it’s always true. Now, come here. Your brother wants to talk about this pool party of his, and I need reinforcements.”
She crossed the room and hugged me.
For a moment I let myself lean into her.
“I need reinforcements.”
My son bounded in a second later.
He was already holding a crumpled list of names and plans.
“Mom, I want everyone there. The whole family, my friends from school, the neighbors. Everyone.”
“Everyone?”
“It’s my fifteenth birthday. It’s important.”
“I want everyone there.”
I watched his face light up the way it used to before the divorce.
“Then everyone it is.”
“Even Dad?”
The question landed like a stone in my chest.
“He’s still your father. Of course.”
My son nodded slowly.
“He’s still your father.”
“Okay. Thanks, Mom… Do you think he’ll actually come?”
I had no answer for that.
Jordan had missed out on a lot since he left us for his mistress.
“Let’s just send the invite and take it from there, okay?”
My son nodded.
He hurried off with his list, but my daughter lingered by the counter.
“Do you think he’ll actually come?”
She was watching me the way she watched storms roll in off the coast.
“You know he might bring her. If he comes.”
“I know.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
I wasn’t.
I hadn’t been okay with anything since the afternoon I stood in our bedroom holding our six-month-old baby and heard Jordan say the words that unmade me.
“You know he might bring her. If he comes.”
