So last night—let me set the scene—I was half asleep, toothbrush dangling from my mouth, when I heard a loud thud against the bathroom light. I honestly thought something had exploded. I turned around, and there it was: a large, shiny, reddish-brown creature… clinging to a cardboard toilet paper roll as if it had just landed after a long flight and decided, “Yep, this is home now.”
At first, I thought it was a cockchafer, and it turns out it was. It’s the common cockchafer. I know, it sounds like the kind of ridiculous nickname a Victorian schoolboy might have earned. It’s also known as the May beetle, which—let’s be honest—makes it sound much more charming than it actually is when it’s crashing into your ceiling fan at midnight.



