That Easter, I came straight from a morning shift, my stomach tight with nerves. I showered as fast as I could, slipped into my best blouse, light blue, Daniel’s favorite. I fussed over Audrey’s hair, pinning back stray curls as she twirled in her new yellow dress.
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“Do you think Grandma will like it?” Audrey asked, twirling in the hallway.
“She’ll love it,” I lied, smoothing her shoulders. “And if she doesn’t, it’s her loss.”
Audrey grinned. “You always say that.”
I glanced at her backpack, double-checking for the letter, the scholarship letter, folded into the side pocket. She’d read it so many times the paper was going soft.
“Do you think Grandma will like it?”
“Ready?”
She nodded. “Ready, Mom.”
***
We drove in silence for a bit, sunlight flickering through trees. At a stoplight, Audrey fidgeted with the hem of her dress.
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“Mom?”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“Do you miss Dad on days like this?”
I shook a deep breath. “I miss him every day, baby. But you make these days better.”
“Do you miss Dad on days like this?”
She looked relieved, and for a moment I remembered the toddler who’d once climbed into my lap, sticky with jam, certain I could fix anything.
We pulled up to Gina and Duncan’s house, all brick and hedges and those impossible blue hydrangeas Gina fussed over every year. The driveway was jammed with cars, Daniel’s cousins, aunts, and their kids.
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“Deep breath, huh, Mom?” Audrey asked, eyes sparkling.
I laughed. “You read my mind.”
We walked up the steps together; Gina greeted us at the door, wearing pearls and a smile as tight as a piano string.
“You read my mind.”
“Stella. You look… fresh,” she said, her gaze drifting to my hands.
I wondered if she could still smell the bleach on my skin. “Thank you for having us, Gina.”
Her eyes moved to Audrey. “My, that’s a bright dress. Did you sew it yourself?”
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Audrey shook her head, her voice polite. “No, Grandma. But it has pockets.”
A cousin snorted behind us. Duncan appeared with a drink, nodding at me but not meeting my eyes. “We started the roast, girls. Hope you’re hungry.”
We settled in, and Audrey’s hand found mine under the table.
I wondered if she could still smell the bleach on my skin.
